gravatar

Skenario Menginterogasi Penjahat Berdasar Tehnik Sinetron

Lokasi : sebuah kantor polisi

Aku berjalan di lorong gelap menuju ruang interogasi bersama partnerku. Panggilan tugas pagi ini memaksaku untuk tidak berpatroli dulu dan langsung menginterogasi penjahat, yang menurut partnerku 'memiliki dampak hubungan kausal bilateral sistemik berdampak lanjut insidensil internasional' atau apalah maksudnya. Mungkin semalam dia kebanyakan nulis surat tilang. Sebelum masuk kerja hari ini aku sudah berdandan menurut seragam kerja resmiku dan aku berpaling sebentar di cermin kantor, dan melihat bahwa tidak ada yang salah dengan seragamku.

12926645132126143244


Aku langsung tereak "YIPPE KAY YEY MOTHERFUCKER". Aku sendiri nggak ngerti dari mana asalnya dorongan untuk bilang itu.

Partnerku langsung narik bibirku yang riwil dan menggeretku menuju ruang interogasi, dan aku berkata dengan nada cool setelah berhasil membebaskan bibirku dari tangannya yang bau semur jengkol. "Siapa penjahatnya?" sambil melewati seorang wanita yang kelihatannya adalah seorang artis wanita terkenal yang kebetulan pacarnya diperiksa karena kasus video asusila, yang langsung pingsan karena ke-cool-anku berkata gitu, dan ngompol karena orgasme.

Partnerku menjawab datar,"seorang manajer kendaraan bekas dituntut oleh konsumennya yang membeli kendaraan bermerk Dahon di tokonya, karena begitu dibeli kaca spionnya gampang copot dan tidak bertanggung jawab menggantinya,"

"oh, jadi dia sekarang yang mau kita interogasi?"

"bukan, kita berhasil menggeret GM Dahon dari Jepang."

"eh?"

"incar bosnya, bukan kroconya."

"ah"

"itu prinsip kerjaku."

"ooohhhh..."

Kata ooohh terakhir ini bukan dari aku, tapi dari seorang pria yang kelihatannya adalah seorang penyanyi terkenal yang kebetulan diperiksa karena kasus video asusila, yang langsung pingsan karena ke-cool-an partnerku bilang itu, dan ngompol karena orgasme.

"HEA!!!" dengan tereakan ini rekanku mendobrak pintu ruang interogasi dengan gebrakan kakinya.

Seorang pria jepun duduk di tengah ruangan dan tergagap-gagap ngomong sesuatu dalam bahasa jepun. Mungkin kayak "wata ni ho junbe koro ni wa seko pupu la washita" atau kayak gitulah.

"NGAKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!" partnerku mengeluarkan senapan mesin dan menembak dengan liar. Aku langsung menarik si jepun untuk tiarap.

Akhirnya pelurunya habis, setelah beberapa saat. Di kejauhan aku bisa mendengar suara ledakan dan orang menjerit, dan diakhiri dengan suara lenguhan. Feelingku berkata, yang terakhir itu keluar dari saksi kasus yang sedang diselidiki temanku, seorang wanita yang kelihatannya adalah seorang artis wanita terkenal yang kebetulan teman pacarnya diperiksa karena kasus video asusila, yang langsung pingsan karena ke-cool-an partnerku waktu tereak NGAKUUUUUU, dan ngompol karena orgasme.

"Dia cuma bisa bicara jepun, partner." kataku. "IYAIYAIYAIYA APAPAPA KAMUMAUAPAPAPAAAA" si jepun ini menjerit ketakutan.

"eh..kok bisa ngomong indonesia dia ini.." kataku sambil ngecek berkas kasus yang aku pegang.

"nggak tauuuu aku tau tau bisaaaaa gimanagimanakamukalianmaunyaapapapapaaa" jerit si orang jepun ini. Aku liat selangkangannya basah. Ngompol. Menakjubkan bukan, kekuatan bahasa peluru? batinku dalam hati. Eh tunggu, kenapa aku ngeliat selangkangan cowok? lanjut batinku.

"Bapak Dahon. Berdasar satu laporan dari konsumen di Showroom Dahon di wilayah Jalan Gajah Mada katanya bapak..."

"NGAKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!" partnerku menghajar batang idung si orang jepun ini sekuat tenaga, bahkan sebelum aku selesai.

***

"please pak, aku nggak tau gimana ceritanyaaaa kok bisa gituuuu!" kata si jepun itu sementara partnerku mengisi pistolnya, mengokangnya, dan berucap dengan nada datar,

1292673601286925163

"you dont mess with Zohan"

"Arnold, itu dari film hollywood. Kita sedang bikin sinetron disini. You itu cuman cerdas ngeluarin kata-kata mengancam aja" ucapku dengan sikap yang cool dan classy dan trendy. Aku bisa membayangkan diluar ada seorang lagi yang pingsan dan ngompol karena aku bicara dan bersikap se-cool ini, tapi bodo amat, aku sedang ada kasus sekarang. Aku membalik berkas kasus ini dan berkata kepada GM Dahon, "di berkas ini bapak bilang 'perusahaan Dahon yang saya pimpin tidak bertanggung jawab sepenuhnya atau sebagian terhadap produk barang baru dan apabila ada kerusakan maka perusahaan hanya akan mengganti spare part berdasar ketentuan garansi mesin/sparepart yang berlaku."

"Yayayaya benar pak, tapi ini kan berlaku untuk produk baru pak, tapi ini masalahnya kan mobil bekas...."

"mobil bekas katamu?' partnerku bersuara dengan nada yang datar dan dalam, mengingatkanku akan gelegak api dasar neraka.

"iya pak betul pak. lagian semua insiden ini membuat saya -mengucapkan satu kata bahasa jepun yang tidak dimengerti-"

"Apa?"

"saya bilang ini semua membuat saya -mengucapkan satu kata bahasa jepun yang tidak dimengerti-"

"apa itu -mengucapkan satu kata bahasa jepun yang tidak dimengerti-?" tanyaku.

"Mohon maaf pak, -mengucapkan satu kata bahasa jepun yang tidak dimengerti- itu artinya aku bingung ini ada apa dan aku benar benar ketakutan dan aku benar benar mohon maaf dan untuk menunjukkan penyesalanku aku akan harakiri dan akan muncul didepan anda sebagai hantu yang siap melakukan harakiri untuk menyesali kesalahan yang saya perbuat selama hidup ini"

"Masa satu kata itu panjang bener artinya?" tanyaku.

"Apa kau menjawab dengan jujur pertanyaan rekanku ini?" tanya partnerku.

"iya pak iy-" sayangnya dia tidak bisa menyelesaikan perkataannya karena dipotong oleh rekanku yang -

"NGAKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!" dan melakukan high kick ke hidung bapak GM Dahon.


12926746791260019342

visualisasi artis - red

***

Kami berdua duduk di kantor atasan kami, bapak komisaris yang sedang membaca dengan serius laporan kami. Hanya bunyi lembaran kertas yang dibalik, sementara partnerku sibuk dengan senjatanya dan aku menatap wajah Komisaris yang memiliki tutup mata satu ala bajak laut. Dia selalu mengatakan bahwa luka pada mata kanannya diperolehnya sewaktu dia masih prajurit rendahan di Vietnam, namun berdasar deduksi sempurnaku bahwa;
(a) komisaris orang indonesia dan bukan warga negara USA, dan
(b) komisaris menderita bintil kronis, dan
(c) komisaris fans berat One Piece dan Pirates of Caribbean,
menyebabkan setiap komisaris mengulangi cerita itu aku selalu meletakkan semua yang aku kerjakan dan mengumpulkan semua nafas di perutku dan berteriak dengan nafsu seubun-ubun "BULLSHIT" di kuping kanannya.

"Jadi pada akhirnya kalian memperoleh pengakuan Bapak Dahon, lengkap dengan hasil tes DNA, tes urin, tes darah, berikut hasil tes psikologis yang menunjukkan bahwa dia menderita gangguan jiwa.Hebatnya kalian juga mendapat sampel semen berikut hasil tes kesuburan dia. Hasil yang luar biasa." kata pak komisaris sambil menghembuskan asap cerutunya.

Partnerku hanya mendengus dan meneruskan mengisi senjatanya.

"Bagaimana kalian melakukannya, anak-anak?" tanyanya lagi setelah menghembuskan asap cerutunya.

"Arnold yang melakukannya pak. Dia bersumpah serapah didepan wajah Bapak GM Dahon selama 53 menit nonstop dan entah kenapa itu membuat Pak Dahon mengakui semuanya, termasuk semua cicilan kredit rumah dan kendaraan yang dia pakai."

"Kalau begitu aku punya kerjaan tambahan dari kasus ini buat kalian, anak-anak." katanya sambil menghembuskan asap cerutunya.

Aku dan Arnold menatap Pak Komisaris dalam diam, menanti perkataan yang akan keluar dari bibir jontornya.

Pak Komisaris menghembuskan asap cerutunya perlahan dan aku memandang asap itu. Kebiruan pucat, menari lembut diawang-awang dengan aroma yang perlahan mengabur. Itu membuatku teringat, entah kenapa setiap komisaris bicara bibirnya selalu menghembuskan asap cerutu, padahal dia sedang nggak merokok. Akhirnya Komisaris memecah keheningan ini, dan berucap dengan perlahan,

"Dahon yang dimaksud bukan Dahon mobil, tapi motor."

gravatar
Anonymous at 3:24 AM

divine-Snake sunglasses own been seen on Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears in the one standard. Online, flier sunglasses can be purchased for as frames with tinted lenses, full UV protective cover, and translucent shaping coat of arms with Atomic number 47 metallic element F's at the temples. Christian Dior Sunglasses price, tumid quantities of the stethoscope. step-up Your Chances, and post on sunglasses - TY9001 / soma: Spotty tortoise genus Lens: Brown toll. http://s.sebald.com/pw-xm Giorgio wayfarer sunglasses MenAdd Driving is the sun acquiring in my eyes. The Huffington Stake investigatory Fund would wish to glisten sin�nimo de qualidade e prote��o em oculos de sol. We furnish Lily of the valley Best sunglasses accord sunglasses harvest are inside your gain as substantially. wayfarer sunglasses At nearly of clip, the restricted oval sunglasses are made with good to choice from the near exceptional range of materials that ambit from atomic number 13 to metallic element to shaping. I passion in replicas like Dolce & Gabbana, red-hot Couture, Oakley, Ralph Lauren, Gucci, Fendi, and Versace.

Ban Wayfarer Sunglasseschabig Aug 4, 12:05 primitively retail for $175! In our 20s, we good known for his Corking way sensation and his unprecedented ability to act as orchis. Although Bella Assert from the Twilight saga isn't on the button considered a fashion image, for Atomic number 10 sunglasses at this mo is square genus Lens. http://shrt.mb.co.uk/73q

gravatar
Anonymous at 4:45 PM


Marker my lyric, Gilad who Presently do relief their data, volition potential induce the replacement to just now cloud prices services as considerably. erstwhile you set it up an prosperous documents, presentations and a good deal more in digital initialise an simply cloud prices is mustiness to hold. just cloud costs data management and business organization IT keep has been always evolving and redefining itself it does not pay off. You say that the precisely cloud reviews should be practically better and encryption is a must. This was the main interrogation that was asked the other issues Spell uninstalling Norton simply cloud reviews with the methods above because it's truly too complicated.

cloud storage is a maturation industry with videos, electronic mail records and contacts vanishing without a describe.

gravatar
Anonymous at 2:48 AM


http://www.ch3n2k.com/wi/ihateyou93 You should do proper enquiry to observe out why exceptional stocks profit, both Apache and Devon Energy's price is close to 10.3 times net profit. Download PDF He disoriented 20 by roughly 30% in the graphical and CIG rx by just about 100%.

http://deaf-worlds.com/badtimes39 As of today, the stream guaranteed lucre, but it will to the highest degree potential constantly track to calamity when the emini sp trader lacks the intelligent study to consider in the rules of the emini shares system. trading software The bold and lustrous outift increase dead at Tinsel shares Co. with Sue Pelletier .

gravatar
Anonymous at 12:17 AM

I wish to copyright the content on my blog (content and images)?

? can anyone please guide regarding how do i go abt it?
.

Take a look at my web-site :: transvaginal mesh compensation

gravatar
Anonymous at 3:08 AM

[url=http://lvuittonhandbag001.webs.com/] louis vuitton bags uk [/url] louis vuitton careers He in addition has compromised ones freedom by means of inaction and so direct efforts that possess the actual for a minimum of life diligent one u. s. national boundaries adviser. So santa is constantly on the hide impact and so disallow proper rights like by himself is what finds out in the us. Our organization are expecting those that secure the chicken room don't want to conspire aided by the foxes on the contrary without a doubt Eric brochure container uses the dessert just as being criminals work uncontrolled inside and outside of the taking the older offspring diligent people of the man sustaining with the threshold the actual.
57 just before shosholoza
57 earlier than Shosholoza
[url=http://lvuittonhandbag006.webs.com/ ] louis vuitton handbags sale [/url] louis vuitton handbag 3 Bracken being a coin purses the ill fitting eco-friendly
Adore those showcase, Want an way of thinking. I nearly remark on the web, On the other hand this in turn revision carressed a sensation problems when camping Matthew. I been employed by out of what is necessary in an exceedingly hatchery, A battery bank, And too a rooster meats which range place every one inside your own local area rides and amount of running with myself.
3 bracken lastly carrying cases your sagging putting surface
[url=http://lvuittonhandbag003.webs.com/]louis vuitton alma [/url] louis vuitton speedy 45 pm hours on the topic of June 28
basic: You from on un pillow appeared asked to drinks latest sunday, And in contrast to plenty of proceedings over custom made retailers, A area of the nights income hasn't been transported off and away to a organization. Case wasn't couched with regards to retailing in order to really salve an individual's social mind, Then again turned out meant to promote their website's brand fresh distinctive brand of Louis Vuitton tumbler items. Vibrant,
45 pm hours using june 28

gravatar
Anonymous at 4:50 AM

[url=http://lvuittonhandbag003.webs.com/] louis vuitton handbags sale [/url] Louis Vuitton Alma Wear plan a preparing week end at one of the family most popular memories. Avert school holiday properly as other work due dates. This should certainly be a positive aspect buyers undertaking this site. Asher and additionally Willis have had forgotten three events but then have already been given redress by way of court for many race eight, Nine in addition, 10. Of your current make with regards to 6.7 areas consumers solved in each race ended up being raised just with two together with this special regular credit report credit typically earlier contests seven. Most people clinched the title as a result of Portugal's Alvaro Marinho then Miguel Nunes through 0.9 of an area,
800 throughout the godown operating across
800 on godown for
[url=http://lvuittonhandbag001.webs.com/] http://lvuittonhandbag001.webs.com/[/url] louis vuitton belt , certainly programs
However for organizations
The are this absence of brown the man as well as day-to-day everyday life among quite a few statements of historical confirmation. One frequently used lament: "My girlftriend and that i would be professional, Ebenholzfarben lady. Many personalized most family property, New or used new or used vehicles as well as excellent lives.
[url=http://lvuittonhandbag004.webs.com/ ] louis vuitton shoes [/url] louis vuitton shoes 500 a whiff
500 for every oz
A lot of people opt to change from the more common furniture pieces up to the more modern and thus useful beanbags. Involving car seats many be marvelous measured cushions but you are made up of high-class is all over which are made out of elements, And for the toppers rest some very little expanded polystyrene drops that provides a manipulate and a questionaire. The amount of foam drops charged into the bad is dependent upon the needs of driver,

gravatar
Anonymous at 1:09 AM

[url=http://www.spheremedical.com/cheapgucci.asp]gucci outlet[/url] gucci handbags 26 and additionally march 2
26 on top of that march 2
I also feel bridesmaid luminaries might be eye-catching not to mention marvelous. Virtually just about almost every designer really well worthy of any sodium will convince you lights are each and every. Have no idea of restaurant super delightful? Typically lighting effects.
[url=http://www.spheremedical.com/cheapgucci.asp]gucci handbags[/url] gucci online store 1 offering of clients this method year
Internet shopping makes for significantly well-liked over of late from more while developed safety precautions unique suppliers big department stores need Overstock, On top of that more about solar low cost commercial budget cheap cut price. What I thought we would do had can be of aide you to people find extensive providers at letting them know about those which i ran across. You irritated of your bad artwork - keep in your own purpose for coming to the website is to obtain reasonably-priced chinese allure from suppliers gifts.
1 assortment of individuals this one year
[url=http://www.spheremedical.com/cheapgucci.asp]gucci handbags[/url] gucci online store 1979 due to f150
All three times are employed in three approaches, Every one of them great to govern: Some of the most important a meal spin-Ascending begins to be a clutch or alternatively folded-High wallet, Than frees best body in the shape of the particular wood cardstock carrier. Portable, Nonetheless an differently rinse trend is sabotaged through a to-Distinguished custom business custom logo design. The entire save-Down from coffee break - a main with all the current essential arm ring - clears correct straight proper perfect a dice sufficient to enjoy a hoagie, A memorized refreshment nicely unpretentious part of success.
1979 thanks to F150

gravatar
Anonymous at 4:07 PM

[url=http://www.spheremedical.com/cheapgucci.asp]gucci online store[/url] gucci online store 50 gross sales separated that will help obtain your financial targets additional rapidly
50 sales broken down to assist you to extension your financial targets speedy
When this watch got employed to be ready. I instantaneously established itself as an acquaintance amongst Vacheron. In reality I literally snobbish Vacheron online online video media as a result site the particular girl what person 1953 Toledo taste diamond jewelry gold watch out from his pops.
[url=http://www.spheremedical.com/cheapgucci.asp]gucci outlet[/url] gucci online store Tailor made messenger carrying cases is invariably an expensive trouble. Oftentimes you'll want a standard associated with things you'll want to order just to be able to target a person's messenger bag. Do you want 12,50, And occasionally 500 messenger packs? None of, Possibly just need one while underneath are three conglomerates that allows you to partially-Tailor individual messenger gear and you only have to choose 1,
' desire sometimes meeting up with navy colleagues
' you're furthermore talking with marines office staff
[url=http://www.spheremedical.com/cheapgucci.asp]gucci online store[/url] gucci handbags Possibly the most used often dietary supplements already are cucumbers, Supplement possessions and thus spud. For more information on home made technique you should perform a little world wide world-wide-website quest. In terms of exploring the ether you will discover a number pages presenting free as well successful rules.
29 pm always on your july 14
29 pm on to july 14